Recently, I was trotting up my local High Street when I spotted an advert for weekend staff in the window of an Estate Agent. It’s the one I used when I sold my last property.
Now that my online business of coaching Osteopaths is zipping along, the idea of getting out of the house one day a week rather appealed. Many Estate Agents have suffered with dodgy reputations since Fred Flintstone bought his bijoux cave for Wilma but I’ve been lucky to meet one or two who have really known their onions.
Many years ago, I worked for a long time for a Commercial Estate Agent in London’s West End. I absolutely loved the cut and thrust of the business and I learned a great deal from my very astute boss about strategy and creating a thriving business.
So I bounced right in the door of the office, saw the manager, and bounced right out again with the job firmly in my hands. Move over spotty 12 year old Estate Agents!
What fun I’ve been having too. I’ve worked two Saturdays so far and poured every ounce of effort into showing properties in their best light to prospective purchasers. Owners have been calling the office to report back how impressed they were with the level of knowledge and enthusiasm I displayed as I pointed out features, benefits and potential.
On both days, I received full asking price offers and bookings for second viewings where before response had been sluggish.
So why should you feel sorry for the boss? Well he hasn’t met me yet you see. The branch manager hired me (at considerably more pay than he was at first offering too!) but the boss doesn’t know that my eagle eye is on his lacklustre business.
I just can’t help it you see! For instance, at the back of the rather scruffy looking room is a statement in silver lettering stuck to the wall. It is so lame I want to tear it down!
‘The area’s leading independent’
What on earth does that mean? What area? Leading where? Independent of whom? How is that statement serving their (pitiful) marketing?
It’s so bleurghhhh!
Within seconds on my first day I had instantly upgraded it to:
‘Your community’s first choice for property’
This makes it ‘belong’ to the people who live there rather than feeding them a vague statement about nothing in particular and addressing nobody in particular. That’s like saying ‘we treat everyone from babies to nonagenarians’! Who is that? Is it me? Is it you?
I’m biding my time but I’ve already got ideas and strategies which I want to discuss with him. When he visits, he probably doesn’t notice the state of the office which, by the way, is why I implore you to check over your entrance areas and clinic rooms with a fresh eye. The place is in desperate need of a decent cleaner, some paint and a make-over!
Apart from that, a small comfortable seating area for discussions would be far more enticing than sitting at one of the four regimented desks. Then there’s that pointless slogan to rip down.
And behind the scenes, I recoil at the state of the bathroom facilities. Let’s just say that Wilma was living in luxury! As for the kitchen, evil smelly gremlins cling to the sink and I’ve quickly learnt to sip coffee without touching the mug! Indeed, I feel a full and frank discussion coming on. And that’s before I explain what I’d like to do to the outdated language in his property particulars!
Yes, I’ll bet this is the first time in your life that you’ve felt sorry for an Estate Agent…
